Do you trust yourself?  The decisions you make for yourself, big and small?  Do you find yourself polling people in your life about what you should do? And then feel a nagging feeling in your gut when their response goes against what feels right?

When I ask clients what they feel most challenged by, one of the most common answers I hear is around self trust and listening to themselves & their intuition.

I hear things like, "I wish I could trust my decisions.  I feel like I know what I want to do, but it’s so scary.  Plus, my family and friends don’t think it’s the right decision, which makes me doubt myself even more.” 

Or, “I want to be able to listen to my intuition.  There are so many voices in my head.  Sometimes I don't know which one is my intuition - or if I can trust it.”

WHY DON'T WE TRUST OURSELVES?

We live in a society where we're taught from a young age to conform to societal norms that often directly conflict with listening to our own inner knowing.  For example, our parents may tell us to finish our food, even when we're no longer hungry.  Or, when we're upset about something as children, our parents may tell us not to be afraid, or not to be angry, signaling to us subconsciously that it's not okay to feel the way we feel. 

What happens is that, as we grow into adults, we may look for external validation or feedback that the way we're feeling is valid, even when it means denying our personal reality.

For example, we listen to loved ones when they say we should stay in a career or relationship that doesn't feel right to us.  Or we constantly find ourselves asking others what they think we should do, in situations big and small.

This conversation isn't about blaming our parents or society at large, but rather about understanding that the little ways we learn not to listen to ourselves often translate into adulthood, unless we become conscious of them and actively practice self trust.

HOW DO WE LEARN TO TRUST OURSELVES AGAIN?

So how do we begin to re-establish trust with the most important relationship in our life: ourselves?

1. Learn to connect with your body

Our bodies are a source of constant feedback and communication, once we know how to listen. In order to do this, we have to slow down, get quiet, drop in and create deeper awareness around the signals our bodies are sending us. This can be done in so many ways, particularly through practices like meditation, yoga nidra, pranayama (breathwork) and mindfulness. (You can download my free Yoga Nidra Meditation that helps you connect into your body and your intuition, Coming Home to Yourself, by clicking here). By cultivating a relationship with our body through these practices, we begin to tune into subtler and subtler instincts, for instance, when something feels like a "yes" or when something feels like a "no."

2. Know that making the most aligned decision doesn't necessarily mean avoiding pain or discomfort

Often, making the best decisions for ourselves will cause discomfort, at least in the short term, especially because we make those decisions within the framework of a society that doesn't always support listening to our own inner knowing. Understanding that pain or discomfort doesn't necessarily mean we made the "wrong" decision can help reassure us that moments of doubt, second-guessing and wanting to return to our comfort zones are completely normal feelings.

3. Start small and learn from experience

Each time we make a decision in alignment with our own inner knowing, however small, we give ourselves evidence that we do in fact know what's best for us. In time, we become more comfortable and assured knowing that we are the only ones who can truly have the answers for ourselves.

And I promise you, that deep down, you do have all of the answers that you need.